Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
farters have to be the big spoon...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
