that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
