This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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