I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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