is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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