I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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