super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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