can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
