mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
