He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
