Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he shaved USA in his pubs
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
