he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
