my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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