I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she looked like the before picture.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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