her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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