I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
