just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
