Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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