When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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