don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
