four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
