if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have aggressive nipples.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
