Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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