I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
