Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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