Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
