Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
