So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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