Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
that's an acceptable place to lick
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
