She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
