I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
