that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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