Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
