I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
