we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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