I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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