butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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