I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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