I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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