i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
