So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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