whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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