I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
