I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
