What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Acid is not a monday night drug
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
