I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
