Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
