This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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