i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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