I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
