We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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