I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
