His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
